Needless to say, it crashed and burned. Instead, I want to give some things to consider:. I know many couples who have met online. I also know many couples who have met in school, at work, at church, through mutual friends, through family, and on a beach during a volleyball tournament ok, I only know one couple who met on a beach during a volleyball tournament- and they got married 7 days later….
For every couple that meets online, there are several more frustrated singles who shut down their profiles with no such luck. From setting up a profile, to scrolling through pages of matches, online dating can be rather time-consuming and stressful. Plus, there are old, abandoned profiles that are becoming increasingly difficult to filter out. As a side note: Coffee Meets Bagel is a fun alternative to the endless scrolling through profiles.
There are inherent dangers in meeting someone online.
The most obvious being that they may not be who they say they are. The most terrifying being they might try to hurt you. Some of my friends have gotten married to people they met online and have great marriages. They had met online and had a fairy-tale romance, got eloped for various reasons, and then he tried to kill her.
That alone was enough to make me wonder if it was worth it.
A Christian's View of Online Dating
Why even do it. Life changes, and so the intricacies of life have to change. Also check out her site, True Love Dates , she always has great stuff. Author of Love Done Right: Devos and Beggar's Daughter.
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I'm obsessed with grace, stories, and good looseleaf tea. Luckily for me, they go together well. We can take the perfect picture, phrase our sentences just right, and reveal only the most flattering information about ourselves. So if you decide to give online dating a chance, you have to know yourself.
Are you easily wowed and gullible? Do you really think everyone online is there with good intentions? If you know you have a history of picking guys who are handsome over honoring, rich over respectful, or charismatic over Christ-centered, then you need to be very careful online dating. If you are a guy who instantly maxes out the credit cards when a pretty girl gives you attention, again, you need to be extra cautious when mingling online.
If you lack discretion, if you are not known for your discernment, or if you are easily wowed by surface information, then online dating might not be for you.
Is Online Dating a Sin? 7 Points to Consider When Online Dating
If nothing else, at least ask a friend to keep you accountable as you search for a godly spouse online. Online dating is a pretty bold move. You are making a serious step forward in being very active and not passive in your hopes to find a spouse. The danger here is that once you start pressing forward, you might press forward too hard and compromise since you want to find a Christian spouse so bad. This is where Christian accountability will really benefit you.
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But make sure you include other Christians in this process who you respect. Bounce ideas off of them. Let them do some searching too on your behalf.
Also, this is just a good safety tip. If the person you are dating is solid, he or she will respect your concern for safety and appreciate the effort you are putting in to find a solid spouse. At minimum, tell other people who you are going to meet and where you are meeting them. Dating is an emotional rollercoaster. I know that is impossible to do perfectly. And quite frankly, this is a serious thing. Trying to find the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with is no small matter.
With all that said, you are going to wear yourself out if you take each date too seriously. Just go on a date and enjoy it for what it is. Will you probably jump way ahead in your mind, imagining if this person will make a good dad to your 3 children named Heather, Austin, and Frank?
But then come back to reality and live with realistic expectations. You are probably not going to meet your future husband or wife on the first date or two you go on when you begin online dating. Try to enjoy each date for what it is. I believe the intention behind dating should be to find a spouse. Having said that, there are still beneficial parts to dating even if that specific relationship does not result in marriage. But also know you are probably not going to marry the first, second, or third person you date.
Dating people enhances your character.
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It increases your discernment. It refines what qualities you really care about in another person. Dating people will force you to realize things about yourself you would otherwise never have learned. It can prepare you to become the person you need to be to thrive when you finally do meet your future spouse.
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If done right, the dating process including online dating should enhance your ability to walk with God and follow his leading. Learn what God wants you to learn through each date.
The most important goal of dating is to figure out if this person is your future spouse. It might seem like a waste of time if you dated someone and then broke up; but if through dating this person you learned he or she is not your future spouse, then you did not waste your time. Wasting your time in dating only happens when you continue to date someone even after you know for certain you are not going to marry him or her.
How long should you date someone?
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